if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
