I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
