The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Come share oat with me in your robe
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
