so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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