ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
