I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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