You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize