Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
