I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
