it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
