8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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