He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
