Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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