Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
