Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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