Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Pants are for mortals
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
