Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
