All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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