I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
barbara walters just said penis...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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