i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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