So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
