dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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