i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
