Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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