walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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