Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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