So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
