My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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