you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
