I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
