This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
