wrigley field is MILF paradise
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
