Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
