WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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