He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think a kid would responsible me up
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize