Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
