What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
