Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
