If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
