it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
