i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
