After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
