did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she pinky promised me she was 18
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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