Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
