ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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