11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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