yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
