Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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