Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
