Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
