he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
