are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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