WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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