Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
