four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
my liver is dry heaving
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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