I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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