Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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