Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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(+49): View more from Germany

They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!

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(615): View more from Tennessee

It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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(812): View more from Indiana

You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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(540): View more from Virginia

The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.

(703): View more from Virginia

So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.

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(406): View more from Montana

I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.

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