I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
