do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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