What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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